15 Things Highly Happy Wives and Girlfriends Understand About Men That You Dont

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They're teaching you so much. The married Chicago-based team wrote a book on the topic, Heart of the Fight , out February 2. They break down the 15 most common fights — and what they really say about your relationship. If you find yourselves blaming each other for who ruined the vacation or whose fault it was that you were late for the dinner party, your expectations are probably out of whack.

You probably have some fairytale-type expectations.


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They advise: "Instead of assigning blame in arguments, figure out what you're so upset about, what went wrong, and how to change it now and in the future. We all have these fights: You feel like your partner never does the dishes, or he's constantly leaving the toilet set up.


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As you probably guessed, it's never really just about that domestic dispute. So instead of fighting over socks, talk about needing to feel valued and ask for help, Bob adds. And you get to be a better team. Fights over finances can strike from a lot of different angles. Maybe one partner is a lavish spender and the other is more frugal, or being short on funds puts a constant strain on the relationship.

The Wrights say insecurity about money means uncertainty about your relationship.

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People think, 'If we have enough money, we have enough love. Having resources makes us feel safe and secure. The thought of any scarcity can really trigger some really deep primal fights for couples. Giving your partner the silent treatment, making passive-aggressive jabs, or keeping frustration pent up inside isn't going to fix whatever is bothering you.

It's really a lack of investment. In other words, good relationships are worth fighting for — literally — so speak up. Rarely are fights just about sexual intimacy, the doctors explain.

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But these destructive disagreements can often undermine both partners' self-confidence. One example, Judith says, is when a partner associates sex with a time to be held, cuddled, and feel affection. If they're not getting that affection during the day, too, it places an unhealthy level of expectations on a couple's sex life: "You're trying to meet too many needs with sex. Ideally, you're feeling already close and sex is your way to express that instead of using that to get close. This fight is a Valentine's Day classic. Come on!

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Return to Book Page. Here are some of the truths you'll learn in this book that will make dealing with the man in your life MUCH easier: Why you're setting yourself up for failure when you think about "what you want in a man"- and the correct way to frame that topic The thing that drives men crazy that you do when you're having "one-on-one" time that makes him not want to agree to spend ti Here are some of the truths you'll learn in this book that will make dealing with the man in your life MUCH easier: Why you're setting yourself up for failure when you think about "what you want in a man"- and the correct way to frame that topic The thing that drives men crazy that you do when you're having "one-on-one" time that makes him not want to agree to spend time with you the next time What happens in a man's mind when you call names and act like a baby during a fight, even though he doesn't say anything The one thing a man wishes you would acknowledge once in awhile, which would result in him giving you a lot more attention The double standards that you try to hold your man to that you don't realize you're doing The relationship-destroying financial issues that make men furious that women don't seem to understand until you read this of course What every woman knows she shouldn't do, but does, but doesn't think she does The real reason he never wants to help out around the house, and how to approach the topic so that he turns into your personal maid The golden word to use when you're teaching your man how to do something right, and the one word that will instantly make him shut you out Another big thing you know you're not supposed to do The one week experiment that will drastically reduce the number of fights you and your man get into There is one chapter in particular you should read every time you feel like you have some "advice" or "tips" for your man Another one week experiment that will probably prevent ANY fights The thing your man needs daily like you need attention What "pre-relationship" elements should stay in place, and which ones should change How you act like his "second mother", and why you should stop ASAP How you might be making your man act shady and defensive, even if he's not actually hiding anything Get A Copy.

Kindle Edition , 58 pages. Published February 18th by whyhedoesntwantyou. Women NEVER consider what the man might want from the relationship because they are too busy making demands about how tall he has to be, or what kind of car he drives, or whether or not he will take care of them.

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They should be saying, "I want a man who wants to be pleased, and treated like a man, not a mouse. I want a man who loves his woman to work hard and play hard. I want a man who knows that I will support him physically and emotionally, and will love me for it. Women do not say that because they do not care what the man wants.

They only care about their personal happiness.

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The problem is, it simply does not work that way. The idea of being in a relationship means that there are two of you. Both opinions, stances and moral compasses come into play, and should be respected at all times. This means that just because you want to go out with your girlfriends does not mean that your partner has to pick the same night to go out with his. He, too, is free to make decisions, and balance the rest of his life within the relationship, just like you do. He does not have to wait for your approval, or your cue, to decide when he can and cannot make plans or enlist his own social calendar.

Being in a relationship does not mean that the woman becomes the boss of the whole.

It means that the responsibilities to live happily fulfilled lives befall both of you. This becomes an issue simply because the nature of the relationship becomes imbalanced. While women are ticking off the items on their mental "he should be doing this" checklist, men are simply looking for a great girl who does not complain about what he is wearing, where he is going, or with whom. He simply wants to be happy, and in order to do so he does not need for you to love to hang out with his friends, or enjoy everything he does.

He simply wants you to love him, and all him to go to baseball games without complaining that he just went to one last week. What if he said the same thing about you going to the gym? Or to your mother's house? The good news is that men are very simple creatures.

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The do not require the amount of emotional support that women do, so it is easier to make them happy.